


in the end

by Abby_S



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2014-08-12
Packaged: 2018-02-12 20:53:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2124384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abby_S/pseuds/Abby_S
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>The first time he killed someone, he broke down and wept.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	in the end

**Author's Note:**

> apocalypse-now-ish prompted me with Simon/Kieren, dystopian AU and love confessions. I rather liked the result, so I'm posting it here.
> 
> This is unbeta'd, I'm really sorry.

> Where others saw ruin  
>  and black nights  
>  and spite
> 
>   
>  you looked into my eyes,  
>  and whispered,  
>  “you’re so full of life.”
> 
> ( _source:[inkskinned](http://inkskinned.tumblr.com/)_ )

“They’re coming,” Amy shouts, voice raw. Kieren barely hears her over the deafening roar of the military tanks that have been circling their base for hours. A shout echoes in the hallway, followed by the nauseating thump of a body hitting the floor, and Kieren closes his eyes. He doesn’t know whether the voice belonged to a friend or an enemy, but it doesn’t matter. It still feels like someone is tearing his heart from his chest and toying with his entrails. It still feels like a failure.

The Revolution was a bust. He’s seen so many of his friends fall –

( _Lisa’s horrified eyes as the bullets tore through her chest, Rick’s last breath on Kieren’s lips_ )

– he has pulled the trigger so many times –

( _this soldier that was barely Kieren’s age, this woman that looked so much like mom)_

– he has _killed_ , and his hands feel tainted with the blood he shed for a hopeless cause.

The first time he killed someone, he broke down and wept. He only remembers flashes of this night, Jem’s hands on his shoulders as she dragged him back to the van, Amy’s pale face and the bleeding gash on her forehead.

Simon, holding him, telling him it was all right, it was normal to be sad. It was normal to _feel_. Simon, talking about sacrifices and how they’re necessary, but when Kieren looked up at him, he was crying too.

Now, they’ve been backed up in a corner, and the soldiers are pounding at the door. It won’t hold, Kieren knows this. They will die, tonight.

Jem is holding Amy’s hand, jaw clenched tight. His baby sister looks so _old,_ so broken, and Kieren knows it’s too late to make things right.

“Kieren,” Simon says quietly, and Kieren closes his eyes, just for a second. When he opens them, Simon is looking at him, his eyes so soft that Kieren’s heart breaks a little. _I used to hate you_ , he thinks.

It would be easier if he still did.

“Yeah,” he chokes out, hands clenched into fists. On the other side of the door, he hears the voices of their executors. Simon’s hands come up to frame his face, warm and tender, and suddenly, the rest of the world disappears. There is only Simon, his sad eyes ( _always so sad, always so tired_ ) and the trembling smile on the corner of his lips. There is only Simon, his gaze intent on Kieren’s face like he wants to commit it to memory. Like memories will still matter in a few minutes.

“It was an honor to fight at your side,” Simon says, tone solemn. His expression changes, softens into something that takes Kieren’s breath away. “I think you should know that I love you more than anything in the world.”

Kieren breathes in, and it shakes inside his body. It feels like a hummingbird is trying to escape the prison of his chest.

“I –I love you, too,” he says, and it’s true, even if he never let himself _think_ it.

Simon kisses him. It is soft and devoted, and makes Kieren aches for the things they will never have. It makes him ache for a first date, for a first time, for Simon’s smile and his laughter. It makes him wish he could hold Simon’s hand in the streets and introduce him to his parents. It makes him crave a future they will never have.

The door bursts open.

Kieren realizes too late that Simon’s body is shielding his from the bullets.


End file.
